The Long Road Home
All my life I chased for love,
I bent, I bowed, I scraped for love.
To be valued, wanted, seen and heard,
So desperate I was, I pledged to learn,
To please, to serve, to be a good girl,
To learn the “right way” to be a woman in a man’s world.
But they could not see me, or if so, not for long,
Because the way I looked and acted was oh so wrong.
Too sensual, too voluptuous, too much of a threat,
So they’d lie and cheat, take all they could get.
Or hate me instantly for what I could not help but be,
Instead of seeing all the beauty and love right there inside of me.
In this way, I learned to hate myself,
To punish, to judge, to hide up on a shelf.
Trying to bend and fold so I’d fit in their box,
Till the whole damn act became a big box of rocks.
What was to become of me, what was in store?
So scared I was, when I couldn’t pretend anymore.
If I couldn’t convince them I was worthy before,
What on earth was I here for?
And now here I am, having found my tribe,
Scattered across the globe both far and wide.
Having learned the most incredible lesson of all,
That the Goddess lives inside me and will never let me fall.
She brought me here this time around,
To stamp, to shout, to shake the ground!
To rock the world with my love and passion,
To serve the world in my own unique fashion.
Spreading light and love across the globe,
To shine a light so others know which way to go.
A path so hard for many to find, because it’s not for sale
and doesn’t live in their mind.
Instead the way lives within themselves
With all those beautiful souls, hidden up on those shelves...
An excerpt from Sandra's poem
Sandra's poem appears in Made Beautiful by Scars - Real Women's stories