All I have ever wanted to do is to help not just people but animals. It is my calling and my true life purpose, I thought the only way I could ever achieve this was through nursing and I am eternally grateful for my time as a nurse as it taught me many lessons.
One of favourite childhood memories I have is being dressed in a Nurses uniform with the plastic stethoscope around my neck.
I was convinced I could hear my Nanny’s heartbeat. From the moment I put that nurse's hat on I was convinced that was what I was going to do. Anyone who knows me gets that I am a very determined person and whatever I put my mind towards I achieve, and I did exactly that. I became a Registered Nurse.
Like life, it was never smooth sailing, my journey towards nursing was filled with the full spectrum of emotions from the pain and heartache I witnessed when I saw a husband become a widow in the space of 30 minutes through to being present to the beauty of newborn life and the elation I cannot describe, mixed with fear of "Will this little 1kg baby make it out alive?'
So what changed? It took 10 years, lots of tears, turning to alcohol, breaking down and feeling suffocated by this invisible contract between me and the Universe that I would spend my life giving back to others in the only way I thought I knew how… nursing. I felt trapped and lost in the dark.
There was something whispering inside of me that I had a story to tell, the whisper grew louder and louder till I had a health scare and life forced me to take time out. Little did I know that my darkest days of being stuck in bed in a fog that I would learn the art of being kind towards myself.
Life always has a way of putting you in the right direction, It’s up to you if you listen to that whisper or wait for life to shout at you.
Over a year ago I found myself in an ambulance screaming and feeling like my insides were twising inside out, It turns out it was my ovary twisting on itself from a large cyst that took 6 months, multiple emergency room visits, countless ultrasounds and finally an emergency laparoscopy to get the f****r out...
An excerpt from "Made Beautiful by Scars- real women's stories"
All rights reserved, copyright Made Beautiful by Scars book series 2016